


Puzzle Pieces Don't Always Fit The First Time

by Grand_King



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Child Abuse, F/F, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Multi, Non-Graphic Violence, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Possibly Unrequited Love, Romantic Soulmates, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Soulmates, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:35:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23403835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grand_King/pseuds/Grand_King
Summary: Kageyama Tobio was taught many things as a child.Less than perfect grades means failure.Impolite behaviour must be punished.Respect your elders.Keep any marks from your soulmate covered.Don't talk about the fact that your soulmates are boys.He was very good at following all of these rules. He didn't much care for his parent's punishments.But what happens when, despite his best efforts, his soulmates find out who he is? One hates him. The other is indifferent. They are already unconditionally in love with one another.Where does he fit in?Can he fit in?
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 157
Kudos: 887





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Iwa4](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iwa4/gifts).



Kageyama Tobio sat alone in his room, it was his tenth birthday and his parents were out for the evening at a work function. It wasn’t a particularly uncommon experience for the young boy, but that didn’t make it any more pleasant. The young boy managed to distract himself from his less than happy thoughts because he was watching as his soulmates drew shakey illustrations across their thighs. He watched as a scene played out between Godzilla and aliens, who seemed to be attacking Tokyo. It was crudely drawn, with unsure lines and smudged ink. But Kageyama thought it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

He wanted so badly to write something, add details to the ever-growing masterpiece on mapping out across his skin. His fingers itched to reach for a pen. But his soulmates were already together. And his mother and father would be very upset if he made his existence known.

_ You’re so selfish Tobio, you hardly deserve  _ one  _ soulmate, but to burden two people? _

Whenever he went out he had to keep his arms and legs covered, and if he was unfortunate enough, gloves would be forced onto his ink-stained hands as well. But when he was at home, tucked away safely in his room, or the bathroom, he could admire the small drawings, the reminders and notes swapped between the other two people.

There were also occasional bruised forearms, scraped knees and random injuries. Soulmates couldn’t  _ feel _ each other’s injuries, but they could see the effects; Kageyams’s second-hand bruises always tingled when they showed up. Like a buzzing reminder that his soulmates were there.

He would be more concerned about the rapid formation of bruising covering his arms and legs if he hadn’t seen a reminder scrawled hastily across his arm.

**_Don’t be late again for practice, Trashykawa, Coach will kick you off the team and you’ll never play volleyball again_ **

**Iwa-chan, mean! I’m on the way**

Kageyama became enthralled with the sport soon after, devouring magazines and youtube videos about the sport, researching schools and practising with an old basketball in the backyard. He was careful to limit his practice times to clash with his soulmates, making sure that the bruises of his own wouldn’t cause them suspicion.

The basketball stung his arms more than a regular volleyball would, but it was better than asking his parents for something. If it wasn’t related to academics, his parents would not indulge him.

He focused on his studies, remaining at the top of his classes, isolating himself from his peers. He hoped, naively, that in staying on top of his grades, his parents would allow him to participate in a sports team when he moved up to middle school. His parents didn’t know that Kageyams’s soulmates played volleyball, but a small part of him hoped that, by playing volleyball, he could meet the pair he was destined to be with.

His parents never hit him, but he would be refused meals, locked in his room, his father threatened to hit him plenty of times. Raised fists, or belts cracking too close for comfort when he screwed up. He tried his best not to screw up.

He attended Kitagawa Daiichi middle school, insisting that it was one of the most academically advanced middle schools in the prefecture, and was close to home. He spent the first couple of weeks simply studying, a volleyball sign up sheet sat crumpled at the bottom of his backpack. Filled entirely with the exception of parental consent. He desperately wanted to join the club. 

Kageyama would arrive at school early under the pretence of studying, just to watch the team practice. There was an amazing duo, Iwaizumi Hajime and Oikawa Toru. Captain and Ace. He would hang around outside, watching through the windows. He watched every morning with rapt attention. His eyes following every move of the setter. The way that Oikawa-san was able to draw the best out of his players, to mould and maneuver his team. It was incredible.

Until his mother found the permission slip.

“Tobio, what is this?” The boy in question had come downstairs after completing his homework, prepared to start making dinner.

“N-nothing mum . It- I don’t-” Kageyama bit his lip, eyes darting back and forth between his parents.

“Your mother asked you a question, Tobio. I suggest you answer her.” Tobio’s dad was impossibly tall, muscular and intimidating. He leered over his son, the threat of violence was clear. He no longer needed words for that.

“It really is nothing, mum. S-someone from the volleyball team a-asked me to join. And I thought it would be good f-for-'' Tobio took a deep breath. “I thought it would be good for me to have an activity outside of studying. Exercise is supposed to be good. U-um sensei says that regular exercise can h-help with my study?” He trailed off, noticing each shift as his father mulled over the words.

“If we let you join, your grades can not slip. Not by one  _ single mark _ . Do you understand me, Tobio?” His mother gripped his arm tightly, and he winced, a soft sound escaping him. She let go as if he had burned her. “I will sign the form. Just be careful not to get injured. You must have no contact with your soulmates, understand?” He nodded, thanked his parents, and scurried off to make dinner.

**_Hey dumbass, don’t forget you owe me lunch tomorrow_ **

**Iwa-chan I thought you were joking? I didn’t mean to hit you in the head...**

**_You promised, Trashykawa. I will call your mother if you don’t deliver._ **

Kageyama smiled at the messy handwriting that covered his forearm, squished between bruises and doodles. He couldn’t wait to start playing volleyball. To meet his soulmates. The mysterious Iwa-chan and Trashykawa. He was so excited that he hardly found it in him to care when he was denied dinner that evening.  _ He was starting volleyball _ .

***

Kageyama arrived at the gym at the same time as he usually did, but instead of sitting beside the window and watching morning practice, he walked right through the front doors. A few people turned to look at him, and he suddenly felt his confidence draining. He walked up to the coach and held out his form.

“M-my name is Kageyama Tobio, I’m a first-year and I would like to join your team.” He bowed deeply, ignoring the sniggering from the players on the court.

It didn’t take long for his form to be looked over, and for the coach to invite him in.

“Welcome, Kageyama-kun. Take a moment to stretch, warm yourself up. Then please, join the team on the court. We’re doing drills.” The boy bowed once again, jogging to the side of the gym to begin warming up.

He watched with keen eyes, The captain was setting, and everyone seemed to be taking turns blocking, spiking and receiving. When one person was finished spiking, they would move to join the trio blocking, a blocker would move back to receive, and the person receiving would join the line to spike.

After a few minutes, Kageyama joined the back of the line, anxiously waiting for his turn. He had practised mostly receiving and setting; he was unsure how he would go about spiking. Each person that spiked did it so wildly different that Kageyama found it difficult to break down and analyze a strategy. Though eventually, it was his turn.

“Ah, Kageyama-kun. How do you like your tosses?” The captain, Oikawa-san, called out. His voice was almost dripping with sarcasm as if he didn’t really want to know the answer.

“U-um… H-high and a little further from the net.” ‘ _ Just like Iwaizumi-san’ _ he thought to himself, having watched the Ace spike toss after toss every day. Oikawa scoffed, his eyes flicking over to Iwaizumi, his soulmate. He was obviously thinking the same thing Kageyama was.

_ ‘You can do this, Tobio.’ _

And he did, the ball slammed against his palm. He pushed through an opening in the block; the person receiving, ‘ _ I think his name was Kunimi?’ _ was not quick enough to stop the ball as it hit the ground with a startling noise.

“Your form was off. You’ll never improve your spikes if you hit like that.” Oikawa did not offer any praise, and his face was anything but the friendly smile he had been accustomed to watching through the window,

“Thank you, Oikawa-san. But I’m not interested in being a spiker.” Tobio bowed, moving to join the blockers.

“Tch.” The setter’s left eye twitched, watching as Kageyama actually managed to block his  _ perfect  _ set.

Practice continued on much the same, though Kageyama didn’t speak much more. It was when they were packing up that he approached the captain.

“Oikawa-san, will you teach me how to toss? I-I mean… I know  _ how  _ to toss. I mean toss to a player.” Tobio spoke quietly and kept his head bowed as he spoke.

“ _ Eh?! _ Iwa-chan, did you hear that?” Tobio froze at the nickname. “Tobio-chan wants me to  _ teach him _ how to toss!” The Ace walked over, obviously summoned by that name.  _ That damn name that was hidden under Kageyama’s long sleeve under-shirt at that very moment. _

“Shut up, Trashykawa. Leave the kid alone. Be a good captain for once.” And then he disappeared, unaware of the fact that Kageyama had all of a sudden forgotten how to breathe. The young boy’s hands shook, and his face was pale as snow. He flicked his eyes down to Oikawa’s arm and sure enough, he saw the words.

**I have your lunch Iwa-chan! I’ll see you at practice :)**

Even the shitty smiley face was there, in the exact same place it was on Kageyams’s arm.

“Ah, sorry to bother you, Oikawa-san.”  _ How did I not notice?  _ “Don’t worry about it. Thank you for practice.” And before Oikawa could even think of responding, Kageyama was out the door.

_ ‘Stupid, stupid. Idiot.’  _ It wasn’t supposed to happen so soon. He wasn’t supposed to find them until later,  _ much  _ later. He wasn’t going to resign from the team, he wanted to, but his father would never allow it.

_ “I didn’t raise a quitter, Tobio.”  _ He would say, and then Tobio would be sent to bed without dinner, or be forced to clean the house until he passed out. No, he couldn’t run away from this problem. But he could avoid it.

The young boy was careful to dodge both Iwaizumi and Oikawa in the hallway, always managing to stand far away from them at practice, and never be placed on a team with them during practice matches or 3-on-3 games.

He was extremely cautious about getting hurt and wore long sleeves consistently so he could not accidentally get ink on his skin. He changed in the bathroom so that nobody on the team saw his words, the same ones that Oikawa so proudly displayed, that Iwaizumi never shied away from showing off. It made him feel sick. He watched them every day, matching bruises and all, wishing desperately that he could be a part of what they had.

_ You’re so selfish Tobio, you hardly deserve  _ one  _ soulmate, but to burden two people? _

_ My son, a faggot? You will never speak of your  _ disgusting  _ soulmates in this house again! _

_ You burden us, you will burden them too. _

_ Nothing but a selfish brat. _

No matter how much he wished he could be with them, the thought caused an ill feeling to erupt in his chest, and his head would start pounding. He found it difficult to breathe. So, he stopped thinking about it.

He studied in every free moment, never allowing his grades to drop, always on top. He practised hard, learned how to toss. Learned that he was a naturally skilled setter. Started as Oikawa’s reserve. He withdrew socially. If you weren’t talking about studying or volleyball, Kageyama wasn’t talking to you.

He still watched Oikawa, the way he would analyze the court in a split second before making a decision, the way his serve seemed to glide past a teams defence like it was nothing. Tobio was a good setter, but he still had a lot to learn.

He watched Iwaizumi too, the way the Ace, vice-captain, would prepare to spike, the way he blocked and received. And his serves were no joke either. The duo was almost unstoppable.

But it didn’t take a genius to realise that Oikawa resented how well Kageyama was doing on the team, that a  _ first-year _ was his reserve. The unbridled hatred that he held in his gaze when he watched Kageyama set to the team, to  _ his _ team, was terrifying.

But the young setter had a need to improve, a drive that was unparalleled.  _ ‘I need my parents to be proud of me.’ _

It was late after practice one night, and Kageyama approached Oikawa for the first time in months.

“Please, teach me how to do a jump serve!” Oikawa visibly stiffened, staring down the younger boy.

“Ah, you want to hear my motto? If you’re going to hit it, hit it until it breaks.” He threw up a peace sign and a fake smile, hoping that the other boy would move on.

“No, Oikawa-san. I want you to teach me how to do a jump serve.” Kageyama insisted, staring directly at Oikawa.

“What’s that? You want me to teach you,  _ a potential rival _ , skills to improve?” Oikawa laughed, cold and humourless. “Idiot.”

Oikawa walked away, joining Iwaizumi to put away the ball carts.

But that wasn’t the end of it. Kageyama kept getting under Oikawa’s skin. And it was too much for the setter. During a practice match, he made one too many mistakes. The coach subbed him out. Kageyama stood on the court, grinning wide. It was as if standing on the court was enough to make his dreams come true.

Oikawa sat on the bench, a towel over his head to hide the tears streaming down his face. He needed to practice more. He needed to get  _ better.  _ Better than Kageyama.

They won the game.

He practised harder. He stayed back after practice almost every night. He practised serve after serve. He did toss after toss. It was no use. Kageyama had a natural skill, good instinct and this unending desire to be the best.

“Oikawa-san, can you teach me how to serve?” Kageyama stood beside him, a ball clutched nervously to his chest.

_ ‘Get away from me! Stop it, go away.’  _ Kageyama took a step forward, unaware of his senpai’s internal monologue. ‘ _ Don’t come any closer!’  _ Kageyama couldn’t hear him.

Suddenly there was a fist in the air, and Tobio had cowered back, the volleyball dropped in order for him to protect his face. He stumbled, falling backwards.

Iwaizumi stood with Oikawa’s wrist clenched in his hand.

“Get a hold of yourself, Toru!”

Kageyama scrambled up, his breathing coming in fast, short bursts. He had tears spilling freely down his face.

“Grow up Tobio-chan. I didn’t even hit you!” Oikawa scolded, watching as the first-year back away from them, trembling.

“We subbed you out of that game because you needed to cool off. Give yourself some credit, you’re still our captain.” Iwaizumi spoke with authority, ignoring Kageyama who was still packing up his kit on the other side of the gym.

“I have to get better, and I can’t do that if he’s here, Hajime. I need to beat Ushiwaka!” Toru cried, clenching his fist and flicking his eyes to where Kageyama was packing up a ball cart.

“All you care about is yourself!” Iwaizumi’s voice grew louder, and he stepped forward, butting his head against Oikawa’s hard enough to make the setter’s nose bleed. “You aren’t the only person on this team, Toru!” He pulled the boy up by his collar. “You aren’t the only one that matters. There are  _ six _ players on the court. We can’t defeat Ushiwaka one on one, that’s why we have a team.”

Oikawa’s eyes widened, blood dripping slowly from his nose. Neither boy realised that Kageyama now had a rather nasty looking bruised nose as well.

“Who cares about that first-year? The team that wins is the  _ best team of six _ .” Iwaizumi helped Oikawa up, but the captain just laughed.

Kageyama stared from across the gym, wiping blood from his nose.

_Who cares about that first-year?_ _You’re just a burden. So selfish, Tobio._

He was quick to exit the gym, sprinting home faster than he thought was possible.

***

Iwaizumi felt a little bit guilty when Kageyama didn’t turn up for practice the rest of the week, especially when he didn’t see the boy at all between classes.

Truth be told, Kageyama wasn’t allowed to leave the house until the bruising around his nose was faded enough to cover with makeup. His parents didn’t want anyone asking questions, and they certainly didn’t want anyone to connect Kageyama with his soulmates, should they be somewhere in the area.

It was a full week later that Kageyama returned to school, though it took a further three days for him to brave the gym again. His face felt odd, the makeup caused his nose to itch; but it was better than walking around with a bruise that perfectly matched the ones on Iwaizumi and Oikawa’s faces.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a warning for violence in the chapter. If you wish to skip the brief description I've put a !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! before and after the section!

Oikawa was back in top form after his altercation with Kageyama, though he still glared at the young boy as if he wanted him dead. Kageyama no longer approached the captain. He asked the coach if he could be removed as an alternate setter, claiming that he wanted to be on the team, but his schoolwork must come first.

He didn’t let it affect him, not outwardly. But every time a hand would raise for a high-five, or pat on the back, Kageyama would flinch away. The sound of volleyballs smacking against the court set him on edge, reminding him a little too much of slamming doors and items being thrown at him.

He wasn’t as enthusiastic about the game anymore. He refused any and all offers to stay late after practice, most lunchtimes he would study alone instead of heading to the gym.

Everything was okay. Kageyama wore jackets and long sleeve undershirts every day. At home and at school. He no longer watched in awe as his soulmates swapped notes, or traced his fingers over bruises. Oikawa and Iwaizumi didn’t give him even so much as a passing glance, which was reassuring to Tobio. They hadn’t found out. They could never find out. Hiding their connection, pretending he didn’t have a soulmate, would be better than rejection. He could accept that Oikawa hated him as a sports rival, but the young boy didn’t know if he could stand the thought of Oikawa hating him as a soulmate too.

They played against Shiratorizawa, Kageyama filled in for Oikawa’s injured substitute. An alternate of an alternate.

‘ _ How pathetic. _ ’ He thought, watching from the sidelines. His captain was at his peak performance. They won the first set. 

They lost the game. They came second overall. Oikawa won Best Setter. Iwaizumi clenched his fists, tears streaming down his face, Oikawa cried freely. He turned to look at Tobio. “I don’t know what high school you will end up at, but as soon as I have the opportunity, I’m going to  _ crush you _ , do you understand?” He didn’t wait for a response, turning back around and breathing harshly.

Kageyama was relieved when Toru and Hajime left for high school, both making it into Seijoh, Aoba Johsai. One of the best volleyball teams in the prefecture. Kageyama wanted nothing more than to attend, to fight on the court with a strong team. To defeat his opponents and win at nationals.

After Oikawa left, Kageyama was offered a position as a starter, the official setter of Kitagawa Daiichi. His drive to be the best was what led to his downfall. His third year, he was vice-captain. Official setter. He pushed his team too far. Asked too much from them. He set the ball, but nobody jumped. The sound echoed through the gym. The toss hitting the ground. The setter turned, his team was standing away from him, standing together, in clear defiance.

He was pulled from the match.

They lost.

It was his last match. Their last match.

He watched from the bench as his teammates wept, pulling each other in for hugs. He was unsure of what to do, they obviously didn’t want him there, and nobody so much as looked at him when it was time to line up.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi were waiting for the team outside of the gymnasium. As soon as Tobio’s eyes landed on them, he ran. He couldn’t stand the ill feeling in his stomach when his eyes landed on Oikawa’s smirk. He knew the older setter was just waiting to chew him out, and Kageyama could almost hear the lilting “ _ I told you so, Tobio-chan! _ ” as he stumbled into the nearest bathroom.

He locked himself in the furthest stall from the door, crouching over the toilet. He vomited, the acid burning at his throat as he sobbed.

“Kageyama-kun?” The boy in question stiffened, stifling his sobs as he heard Iwaizumi approaching. “I know you’re in here. I just want to make sure you’re alright.” He stopped just outside of the stall, and Kageyama stood up slowly.

“I’m fine, Iwaizumi-san. Please, don’t worry about me. I’ll rejoin the team in a moment.” Tobio wiped his mouth with toilet paper, flushed away his sick.

“I’ll wait outside. You did a good job today, Kageyama-kun. Please don’t think otherwise.” The setter waited until he heard the door close, then he moved to the sink, rinsing his mouth out; he splashed cold water across his face, pressing the cool liquid to his eyes to reduce puffiness and redness.

As promised, Iwaizumi was leaning against the wall just outside the bathroom, waiting for Kageyama to appear. The pair walked back to the team in silence. Kageyama wouldn’t stop his eyes from wandering to stare at Iwaizumi’s arms.

**_Don’t be late or I will leave you at home._ **

**Iwa-can that’s so mean! I’ll be over in 10**

**_Make it 5, Shittykawa. I know your 10 is actually 20._ **

Kageyama could almost feel the bile rising in his throat again.

“Ah, if it isn’t Tobio-chan. King of the Court.” Oikawa’s voice brought the setter back to reality. 

His team glanced up, many barely hiding looks of disdain. “How does it feel to be a cold dictator, hmm? To have your  _ whole team _ turn their backs on you. The  _ prodigal. _ Kitagawa Daiichi’s very own  _ genius setter _ benched because he doesn’t know how to work on a real team.” Iwaizumi sighed, attempting to cut his soulmate off.

“I-I’m sorry, Oikawa-san!” Tobio bowed low, tears welling in his eyes.

“You are a  _ disgrace _ to my team, and to setters all around Japan.” His teammates sniggered, but Tobio simply nodded. He looked up to meet Oikawa’s eyes for a brief moment.

“You said in my first year that you wanted me to improve so that you could defeat me. I don’t intend to lose to you.” He pulled his gym bag higher on his shoulder, pushing past his team and exiting to the building.

He didn’t cry again until after he had finished his chores. He cooked dinner, cleaned the house and studied. His parents didn’t ask how his game went. They never did.

When he was safely locked in his room, he let the tears fall. He sat at his desk, an acceptance letter from Aobajohsai sitting in front of him. He tore it up, Oikawa’s words consuming him. He would never make it at that school anyway, who was he kidding. He stopped going to practice. They had no more games for the year, and it was painfully obvious that his volleyball friends no longer considered him a worthy teammate.

Kageyama was a mess. His school work was suffering. He failed a test. His first failed test. He contemplated hiding the results, burning the paper that sat at the bottom of his bag. But results were always emailed to parents. Instead, he walked through the front door, placed his shoes neatly beside the door, and made his way into the living area. He spent about an hour cleaning the lounge and downstairs bathroom, hoping to appease his mother and father. His parents were not yet home, and he thanked any god that may or may not exist. He shuffled through to the kitchen, starting on dinner. His hands shook the entire time, causing quite a few almost incidents when chopping vegetables. He was almost finished by the time the front door opened.

Kageyama set the table, two plates of steaming food sat ready for his mother and father. They sat in silence, neither sparing a glance at their son when he moved to wait in the living room.

Kageyama didn’t know what to do, sure he had gotten in trouble before, but he had never  _ failed  _ a test. He wrapped his arms around himself, glancing anxiously at the door through to the dining area.

_ Should I wait in the kitchen to clean up when they’re finished? _

He was so lost in thought that he didn’t realise he was no longer alone in the room. He felt a strong hand come down on his shoulder, squeezing until it hurt.

“Tobio, your mother and I don’t ask much from you,” Kageyama-san spoke loudly, turning his son to face him. “We ask for good grades, respect, a tidy house. And in exchange, we feed you, clothe you, keep a roof over your head.” Tobio found an interesting spot on the wall behind his father’s head, focusing on that so he didn’t have to look the man in the eyes.

“Tobio, we do this because we love you.” His mother spoke softly, carding her fingers through his hair. “You understand that we need to discourage your behaviour?” When Kageyama nodded, his father stepped back.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“I’m sorry mum, dad.” The child took a steadying breath. “I’ve been really stressed with volleyball and-” He was cut off, his mother's open hand connecting with his cheek.

His head snapped to the side, his cheek stung. He lifted his hand hesitantly, and blood stained his fingertips. Her ring had cut him.

“I don’t want to hear about that sport, Tobio! You promised it would not interfere with your studies.” She shouted at him, fury painted her features into an ugly scowl.

“M-mum! My soulmates!” Kageyama cried, his chest felt too tight.

“I told you never to mention those- those  _ fags _ in my house ever again!” His father roared, fist connecting with his son’s stomach. Kageyama fell.

“This is for your own good, sweetheart. We need to remind you of your place in this household. Respect our rules and we wouldn’t have to do that.” His mother tutted, walking past her son to head upstairs.

His father sneered, stepping on Kageyama’s hand. “Your soulmates don’t give two shits about you.” The setter’s screams mixed with his father’s laughter. “Clean the kitchen, Tobio.” And then the man was gone, leaving his son gasping for breath on the floor.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**_Holy shit, Toru are you okay? What happened to you?_ **

**Hajime, are you alright?**

**Wait, is this not you?**

**_No! I thought it was you?_ **

**_Is there someone else?_ **

Kageyama read the writing through blurred eyes, pulling himself up and stumbling to the kitchen. He spotted a pen laying on the bench and reached for it with shaking hands.

_ I’m sorry. _

**_Who are you? Are you alright?_ **

**Do you need help?**

Kageyama wanted to laugh. Instead, he let out a sob that wreaked through his whole body.

_ You weren’t supposed to find out. _

He paused before writing the next line.

_ Please, just forget about me. About all of this. _

He didn’t read the rest of the messages, focusing completely on cleaning the dishes. His hand throbbed, swollen and bruised as he scrubbed away at the utensils.  _ ‘Well, it’s a good thing I don’t go to practice anymore.’  _ He thought bitterly.

It had taken weeks for Kageyama’s hand to heal. He kept it taped near constantly, and brushed off questions from his peers. He knew that Oikawa and Iwaizumi still tried to write to him, he never wrote back. Upon realising that his soulmates didn’t know who Kageyama was and that he didn’t ask them for help, his parents became much more physical. Harsh words were replaced with fists, sharp words stung alongside cuts across his torso, his face burned in shame quite similarly to the cigarette scars that dotted across his forearms.

_ Will my scars also scar Oikawa-san and Iwaizumi-san?  _ He thought often, he didn’t think he had any scars from either of them, but he wasn’t really sure. It didn’t matter. He had more important things to worry about.

Karasuno High School.

Former powerhouse.

The Fallen Crows.

He passed the entrance exam with ease. He had managed to get permission from his mother to join the volleyball team. He insisted that maintaining physical health would benefit his academics. They didn’t want him getting lazy, did they?

He was more than excited to join the volleyball club, to stand on the court and fight. To move past his middle school failures and prove that he was a worthy opponent. A worthy teammate. It didn’t take long for his excitement to be dashed.

A small spiker, Hinata Shoyo, had declared a rivalry between them. Apparently, Kageyama had been less than kind to him after their middle school match, and the small boy refused to be on a team with him.

“I would rather receive, set and spike on my own then play with Kageyama!”

They were barred from the gym until they learned how to get along.

Kageyama just wanted to play volleyball.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for you lovely comments and kudos! I really appreciate your support!!!!!!

Kageyama.  
"Me? It's your fault we can't play!" The orange-haired spikes retaliated, jumping up as if to emphasise his point.  
"All I said was that I didn't remember you! I played against a lot of teams during my third year!" Tobio defended himself, tugging at the sleeves of his jumper.  
"Well, I wasn't lying before. I don't want to play on the same court as you." Hinata grumbled, his fists clenched at his sides.  
“You won’t be playing on any court if you can’t at least pretend to get along with me.” Kageyama reasoned, narrowing his eyes at his supposed rival. “I couldn't care any less about your personal qualms, but if you’re letting something so trivial get between you and that court, you shouldn’t be playing.”  
Hinata squawked in protest as the setter walked away.

Kageyama ignored the noisy boy behind him, walking up the stairs to the gym and opening the door. He knew that Hinata had followed him to stand in the doorway, but he paid no mind to the smaller boy.  
“Pardon the intrusion.” Daichi looked less than impressed.  
“Have you discovered the art of getting along, Kageyama-kun? Hinata-kun?” He asked, walking over to the first-years.  
“I have no problem with Hinata. I can get along with anyone as long as I can play volleyball,” Kageyama paused, steeling himself against the captain’s unimpressed glare, “but I do know that you won’t accept that. So I would like to propose a 3-on-3 match. If Hinata and I win, we’re allowed on the team. If we lose I accept whatever punishment you deem fit.” He shoved his hands into his pockets, unwilling to show the team how nervous he was. The orange-haired boy squeaked in protest, clearly less than impressed about Kageyama speaking on behalf of him.  
“In the event that you lose, for the remainder of my time at this school, Kageyama will not be allowed to play setter.” Daichi stood with his arms crossed, Suga and Tanaka flanking him.  
Kageyama’s eyes widened, and he flinched ever so slightly. He stepped back, away from the doorway and onto the steps.  
“What?”  
“Is that all, sir?” Hinata asked, this reparation wouldn’t affect him.  
“A team can’t win with a grandstanding, over-aggressive, egocentric setter.” Kageyama’s shocked expression morphed into one of barely contained rage. “What’s the matter? I’m not saying your application will be rejected. I’m sure you can handle the other positions easily.” Daichi smirked down at them.  
Kageyama’s eyebrows furrowed and he gritted his teeth.  
“I’m a setter!”  
Daichi did not raise his voice, his expression was scarily calm.  
“Then win. The game is set for Saturday morning.”  
Suga closed the doors, leaving the two first-years alone once again.

“SHIT!” Kageyama swore, kicking at the ground.  
He ignored Hinata’s question, fighting back the doubts that clouded his mind. What if they couldn’t win? Daichi was the captain, after all, he had to be a good player.  
“You could play any other position and just do that.” Why is he still talking? “Besides, spikers are way cooler than setters!” The setter broke, turning around and grabbing Hinata by the collar.  
“You BASTARD! The setter is the control tower of the team. They have the most contact with the ball. Every attack relies on the setter. Spikers are nothing without a setter.” He almost felt bad for shouting in the younger boy’s face, knowing how unpleasant it was.  
Hinata didn’t reply, stunned into silence. Kageyama set him down.  
“I’m going home. Meet me here tomorrow morning if you want to practice.”  
“Eh?! But we can’t get into the gym!” Hinata complained, obviously louder than expected.  
“AHEM!” Tanka’s voice floated through an open window, he was clearly trying to get them to hear him from outside. “So I guess we have to start morning practice at seven a.m right?”  
Suga’s voice could also be heard, harder to make out than Tanaks’s had been.  
“What? Well, yeah. What’s gotten into you?”  
The first-year two made eye contact, both looked equally shocked.  
“Meet at five a.m?”  
“Don’t be late.”  
“Dumbass, that goes for you.”

***

His parents were away on a business trip, leaving Kageyama alone in the house. As soon as he was inside, he stripped off his jacket, tracing red ink fondly as it trailed down his arm.  
Oikawa had been drawing spaceships and aliens across his skin again, his other arm was almost blank, save for one sentence.

Stop that, Shittykawa.

Tobio pushed down the warmth in his chest, not wanting to entertain the idea that he could have any type of relationship with the two of them. Instead, he pulled out his textbooks and studied. Time passed in a flurry of notes, pages turning and quiet study playlists. He had been sitting in the same spot for almost two hours when his stomach grumbled, alerting him to the fact that he should probably have something to eat.

He closed the textbook, organising his notes and putting away his pens. Or well, he tried to. He picked up his blue pen and realised that it had been leaking ink. He disposed of the pen quickly, wiping down his hands before cleaning up the spill. His parents would be furious if they saw a stain on the desk.

After he had cleaned the ink, he made his way into the bathroom to wash his hands. He had tried four times but to no avail, blue ink still smeared across his fingers and palm.

That one wasn’t my fault, Iwa-chan

Shut up, I know. We’re literally right next to each other.

Tobio sighed tears of frustration welling in his eyes. He couldn’t do anything right. He hoped that Oikawa and Iwaizumi weren’t too mad about it, though knowing their tendency to draw on themselves, he wasn’t too worried. His arms were almost constantly covered in ink, and his thighs were often covered in less than appropriate messages. He tried to avoid reading them, they were private. Not for his eyes. But they had to know he could see them, right? They knew he was there. Not that they knew who was there.

He shook his head, clearing away those thoughts. He made it back into the kitchen, pulling a packet of instant ramen from the kitchen and making himself dinner. He hummed while he worked, a stupid song that was overplayed on the radio. It didn’t take long for his humming to turn into singing, dancing around the kitchen while waiting for his noodles to be ready.

He missed those moments, moments where he could be a kid again. He didn’t have to worry about wearing long sleeves or not stepping too loudly. He could speak as loud as he wanted and make a mess. Which he did. He left the pot in the sink and his dishes on the bench. Not worried about cleaning them immediately. Nobody could yell at him for it, so why would he?

He sat down after dinner, putting on a movie and curling up on the couch. He felt his anxiety from the day fade. He was okay.

***

Kageyama was at school as the sun was rising, earlier than what he and Hinata had agreed on. He had a volleyball in his hands, and was practising tosses and receives against the gym wall. He was practising various techniques for about fifteen minutes before Hinata showed up, neither mentioned how early they were.

“Why are you wearing a jumper, Kageyama? It’s not good to practice in layers. You’ll overheat.” Hinata tutted, walking over to the taller boy.  
“It’s none of your business, dumbass.” He grumbled, passing the ball to Hinata.

They passed back and forth in silence for a while, trying harder and harder to make each other drop.

“Wow~ You guys are here early.” Tanaka’s voice startled the two, and Hinata was hit in the head with a stray volleyball. “Make sure you clear out by seven.” Tanaka instructed, twirling the keys around his finger. He yawned loudly, unimpressed with being awake.  
“Thank you, Tanaka-san!” Hinata and Kageyama bowed, excitement clear in their tone.  
“Ah, what a good senpai I am. Say it, call me Tanaka-senpai!” He pointed at each of them, puffing out his chest.  
Again, the first-years spoke at once.  
“Tanaka-senpai!” It was almost a shout, and Tanaka revelled in that, laughing loudly as he asked them to repeat it. Which they did. Twice.  
Eventually, he let them in, showing them where the stuff was kept, where the light switches were etc.  
“I will warn you, Daichi is usually very nice. But he can be scary. Very scary.” Tanaka warned amusement wiped from his expression.  
“I know.” Both Hinata and Kageyama thought back to the withering glare that had been set upon them the night before. Neither wished to repeat that experience.  
“We can’t let him find out about our morning practise. I’ll be in major trouble.” He paused, putting his hands on his hips and puffing out his chest. “Not that I’m afraid of him.” The first-years shared a look of disbelief. “But we need to keep this morning practice thing quiet. Between just the three of us.”  
Obviously all three of them were quite startled when the doors slammed open.  
“Oh? So what’s this I hear about morning practice?”  
“Uh- Suga-san!” Tanaka’s voice was shaking, a fact he would later deny.  
“Yo.” The vice-captain grinned, “Something was obviously up with you yesterday. You’re hardly ever on time, so why would you volunteer to take the key and open up for morning practise?” Suga was sitting down, changing into his volleyball shoes. “Don’t worry, I won’t say anything to Daichi!” He reassured, smiling brightly at the three of them. “This is exciting, like a secret volleyball crash course!”  
Tanaka, Kageyama and Hinata all let out a simultaneous sigh of relief.

***

Kageyama and Tanaka practised spiking, getting in sync with one another. Hinata stared at them from where he was practising receives with Sugawara. This obviously resulted in him getting hit in the head.  
“Hinata! Don’t get distracted!” Suga scolded, sighing when the younger player didn’t even acknowledge his reprimand.  
“I want to spike too! Toss to me, Kageyama!” The setter turned to face Hinata, who was repeatedly asking for a toss. “You love tosses! So give one to me, toss to me!”  
Suga glanced between the two, his worry clear on his face.  
“Hinata calm d-” He was cut off.  
“No.” Kageyama was staring Hinata down, ignoring the shocked looks from Tanaka and Sugawara. “Forget it.”  
Hinata’s mouth fell open, a surprised noise choked from his throat.  
The small spiker began to complain, and Kageyama hit the ball directly at him, watching with satisfaction as the smaller boy missed the receive, the ball flying off to the side.  
“That ball came from directly in front of you. Receives are a vital part of defence and attack. I won’t set for you until you can pick up the ball. On Saturday, all of my tosses will go to Tanaka. You need to work harder.” He turned away.  
“If I learn to receive, will you toss to me then?” Hinata’s fists were clenched, and his voice shook.  
“I toss to anyone who is essential to winning.” Kageyama picked up a volleyball at his feet and turned back to Hinata. “I don’t think you can win yet.”  
Suga and Tanaka came to Hinata’s defence, but that notion was quickly dismissed when Kageyama pointed out the time.  
“Shit, leave no trace!” Tanaka cried, darting off to clean, Sugawara not far behind him.


	4. Chapter 4

They won the game.

Tsukishima spent most of the first set trying to upset Kageyama. Bringing up the abrupt end of his middle school volleyball career. It would have worked too if Hinata hadn’t been as obnoxiously optimistic as he was.

He could hit Kageyama’s infamous ‘King’s Toss’ with his eyes closed, literally. And they won in straight sets.

He was feeling good. Analysing the court, using Hinata both as a decoy and as a weapon. Getting past blockers and receivers alike. Stunning the  _ captain _ of all people. He felt proud.

He was about to continue practising their new quick with Hinata and Tanaka when the doors to the gym burst open. Takeda Ittetsu stood panting in the doorway.

"A practice match!" He waved a piece of paper in his hand. "One of the top four schools in the prefecture has asked for a practice match with Karasuno! Aoba Johsai." The teacher took a moment to catch his breath, passing the paper over to Daichi and Suga.

The rest of the team crowded around their captain and vice-captain.

"They have one condition." Takeda continued, having calmed down from his run. "They have requested that Kageyama play setter for the entire match. Or they take back the invitation."

Stunned silence followed.

Kageyama's eyes landed on Sugawara, who was already looking at him.

"I can't do that. Suga-san is our starter. It wouldn't be right for me to take that position from him." Kageyama explained, who was backed up by a very vocal Tanaka.

"It's okay, Kageyama. It's one practice match. It'll be good for the team to play against a team so strong." Sugar smiled, though it was clear the idea wasn't completely okay with him. "Besides, I won't let you take my position as starter that easily."

And so it was settled. A practice match with Aoba Johsai.

Kageyama knew that Oikawa was probably just looking to humiliate him. That he was the one who pushed for the match. Kageyama wasn't looking forward to the match, but he couldn't take such an amazing opportunity from his team.

***

When Kageyama took his bath that night, his knee was covered in nasty bruising, Oikawa had been practising too hard again.

After washing up, the setter went back to his bedroom. He curled up on his bed, tracing the edge of his bruised knee carefully. He was almost  _ angry  _ at Oikawa for not taking care of himself. If he wanted to publicly shame Kageyama, he needed to take better care of himself. Pushing his body past its limit would never help him further his career. He didn’t think, just grabbed a pen. 

_ Oikawa-san please look after your body. Rest is a vital part of training. _

**Shut up Mystery-chan. You’re always injured.**

**_They’re right Shittykawa._ **

**Bullies.**

Nothing more was written for a long time. Kageyama checked often as he read, hardly paying attention to the novel in his hands. Eventually, he gave up though, no amount of staring at his skin would make the, write, and he already regretted writing what he had. He wasn’t supposed to interfere, they were clearly already so happy without him. He didn’t want to drag them down. So he pulled on a jumper and forced himself to pay attention to the pages in front of him.

He read for the better part of an hour, finally able to concentrate on the words. At least until he felt a familiar buzzing on his arm. Someone was writing.

**_Thank you. Whoever you are._ **

_ Don’t mention it. _

Moments after Kageyama’s response was read, Iwaizumi washed the ink from his skin. The setter followed suit, clearly, Oikawa wasn’t supposed to see the words penned out on his arm.

Kageyama had trouble sleeping that night, his mind constantly wandering about how his life would be different if Oikawa and Iwaizumi knew he was their soulmate. Would they accept him with open arms? Reject him? Would they take him away from his parents, and protect him from the world? He knew it was unlikely, he had been raised, trained, to think that they hurt him out of some sort of love and compassion.

_ We do this for your own good, Tobio. _

His mother’s words rung clearly in his head. It would be wrong of him to leave his parents, they had done so much for him. The thought caused an uncomfortable tightness in his gut. Sure, they were a little bit harsh sometimes, but that was only if he messed up. Only if he deserved it. He just had to be a better son. A son his parents could be proud of.

So he pushed away all thoughts of his soulmates. His mother didn’t want him to contact them, his father didn’t want him to be gay. So he wouldn’t. He won’t be. 

Simple.

Kageyama groaned into his pillow, too tired to think but too caught up in thought to sleep.

***

The setter looked like walking death when he arrived at morning practice. He had dark circles under his eyes and his posture screamed  _ tired.  _ He shuffled into the gym, bag slung over his shoulder and carton of milk in hand.

“Good morning Daichi-san, Suga-san.” He stifled a yawn into the back of his hand, not acknowledging the rest of the team.

“Kageyama, you look tired. Maybe you should sit out his morning.” Daichi suggested, concern clear in his features.

The setter in question just shrugged, moving to pull down the sleeves of his jumper. Only he couldn’t feel the familiar material. His fingers brushed against the skin of his arm and he realized with a start that he had forgotten his jacket at home. He dropped the milk, stepping away from Daichi.

“I’m fine. I just-” His gaze flicked anxiously around the room, everyone was staring at him. “Sugawara-san, can please speak with you? Um… a-alone.” He closed his eyes tightly, trying to calm his breathing.

“Oh! Of course. We’ll go to the club room. Come on.” Suga took Kageyama’s hand, leading him away from the prying eyes of their team-mates.

His breathing didn’t return to normal until after the door was shut behind them.

“I’m really sorry to take you away from tr-”

“Don’t mention it. What do you need? You looked pretty freaked out back there.” Suga sat down on one of the benches, gesturing for Kageyama to follow suit.

Kageyama shuffled awkwardly for a moment before sitting down.

“I- don’t even know what to tell you.” He took a deep breath. “It’s stupid. It shouldn’t even matter.” He shrugged, avoiding Suga’s gaze. “I forgot my jacket at home and I don’t want anyone to see m-my soulmates. The writing I mean.” He shuddered, blinking away tears.

Suga blinked a couple of times, clearly shocked at the confession.

“Why don’t you want to show off your marks?” Suga’s hand reached unconsciously towards the inked words on the back of his hand. Daichi’s good morning note.

“My parents-” Kageyama paused. “I’m not supposed to show them off. I don’t want anyone to realise who they are. I don’t want  _ them  _ to know who I am.” He wrapped his arms around himself again, feeling shame at admitting that.

“You mean they don’t  _ know you? _ ” Suga asked, shocked.

“I mean- technically they do. But they don’t know I’m their third. I- I didn’t want them to know I existed at all but one day my m- I um… I fell over and injured myself and both of them freaked out and so they know I exist but they don’t know who I am but  _ I  _ know who  _ they _ are and I’m so  _ scared _ .” Kageyama rambled, tears streaming down his face. “I’ve met them and they get along s-so well and one of them h-hates me.” He continued, wiping his face in a futile effort to stem his tears.

“Oh, Kageyama. I’m so sorry.” Suga pulled the younger setter into a hug, rubbing his back comfortingly. “If you don’t mind me asking, who are your soulmates? I promise not to breathe a word of this to anyone. Not even Daichi.”

“The captain and vice-captain of Seijoh. Oikawa Toru and Iwaizumi Hajime.” Kageyama admitted easily, sounding relieved to have this burden lifted from his shoulders.

“Ah. That should make our practice match interesting, no?” Suga teased, pulling away. “I’ll let you borrow my jacket for today. You can give it back to me tomorrow.” He insisted, pulling off his jacket and draping around Kageyama’s shoulders.

“Thank you, Suga.” Kageyama pulled on the jacket, sighing in relief as his arms were covered finally. “I didn’t mean to make such a big deal of this. It’s just that Oikawa-san had a difficult night last night and he and Iwaizumi-san were writing to one another and I didn’t sleep much.” He admitted, standing from the bench.

“That’s okay. Anytime, Kageyama.” Suga stood too. “You should go wash your face. I’ll meet you back in the gym?” At Kageyama’s nod, Suga left.

It took about two minutes for Kageyama to move from the clubroom, to move into the bathroom and wash his face. He stared himself down in the bathroom, swallowing heavily as he took in his red-rimmed eyes and sunken features.  _ Maybe I haven’t been taking as much care of myself as I thought. _ He reflected, sighing wearily and making his way back to the gym.

The team had obviously been warned not to make a fuss when he walked back in, as almost nobody looked in his direction as he walked in. He felt slightly bad when he saw that someone had mopped up his spilt milk carton. He tugged his sleeves, apparently a nervous habit he had picked up, and made his way over to where Hinata was working on recieves with Suga. It didn’t take Daichi long to start off practice after that, working the team extra hard in preparation for their practice match.

It felt good to get lost in practice, when Kageyama was focused on the court he could forget about everything else. For a little while at least. It was a peace that he was unused to in everyday life, it was one of the reasons volleyball was so addicting. It was an escape. He could connect with people on the court, and disconnect with his thoughts. At least, when Oikawa and Iwaizumi weren’t scribbling away causing a distracting buzz on his skin.

  
Daichi seemed to turn a blind eye to Kageyama’s distracted nature, though he couldn’t stop Hinata’s overexcited chattering or Tsukishima’s less than polite commentary. Not that Kageyama seemed to even notice.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A silver lining?  
> Oikawa and Iwaizumi meet Kageyama at an unexpected moment.  
> They see something he really wished they hadn't.  
> Kageyama gets some help.

His parents were home by the time he was back from after-school practice. His father was holding his jacket in a tight fist, waiting by the front door for Kageyama’s arrival.

“What the hell is this, Tobio?” His father thundered, throwing the jacket at his son.

“I-I forgot my jacket at home. I was running late. I-” Tobio’s eyes darted between his mother and father. “I found a spare jacket in the club room and nobody saw my marks.” His voice grew steadily quieter as he spoke.

“I don’t give a  _ damn  _ if you miss volleyball practice, Tobio!” His father shouted, grabbing his son by the wrist and pulling him further into the house. “We don’t ask much of you. We let you play that ridiculous sport, we give you a roof, and food and clothes. And you have the  _ audacity  _ to disrespect us?” He shoved Kageyama, and the boy stumbled away.

“Tobia, dear.” His mother called, the look of disappointment on her face always hurt more than any physical violence his parents dished out. “Why are you doing this to us?” She asked, sighing at him.

He would have in a lot more trouble if their doorbell hadn’t rung.

His father left to answer the door, and Kageyama pulled himself up, righting his clothes and trying to calm his breathing.

“Miwa! What a lovely surprise, come in!” Kageyama’s eyes widened at his father’s joyful tone.

What was his  _ sister _ doing here?

“Good afternoon, dad!” She greeted, walking into the living room. “I hope I’m not intruding. The electricity went out in my apartment and I was hoping I could crash in my old room for tonight?” The question was directed at their parents, obviously, but her eyes never left Kageyama’s still slightly shaken appearance.

“Of course, darling! We love having you at home. Tobio is going to cook us dinner tonight, I’m sure he can make extra.” His mother beamed, pulling Miwa in for a hug.

Kageyama nodded, moving into the kitchen to get started on making the food. He was aware that his sister was following him, but he didn’t make any conversation with her as he looked through the cupboards.

“So, how’s school?” She asked, gathering utensils from a drawer and pulling the vegetables away from Kageyama.

“It’s good. I’m on the volleyball team again.” He spoke quietly, eyes flicking to the doorway whenever he thought his sister wasn’t watching. “I’m still doing well in all of my classes.” He shrugged, preparing the meat.

“Ah, of course. Studious as ever.” Miwa teased, smiling at her baby brother. “And how are things at home? Mum and Dad are gone a lot right?” She asked.

_ Not as often as I’d like. _ He thought resentfully.

“Yeah, they have a lot of business trips and things. I don’t mind being home alone. It’s nice.” He stiffened as his mother walked into the room.

“Oh, Miwa, darling. You don’t have to do that. Tobio is cooking dinner!” She insisted, frowning slightly at her son. “Tobio, are you making your sister do all the work?” She chastised, in a tone that was far less friendly than she used for her daughter.

“It’s fine, mum. I offered to help. I want to catch up with Tobio, see how he’s doing with volleyball. You know how important it was to him and grandpa. I kind of wish I kept playing.” She hummed, turning away from her mother and continuing to chop vegetables.

“But yeah, Volleyball is going well. We have a practice match against Aoba Johsai soon, and I’m playing as the starting setter for the game.” Kageyama smiled at his sister, though he was clearly tense.

“Oh, I know them! They’re like… a really strong team, right?” Miwa hummed, assessing her brother’s expression.

Tobio nodded, taking the prepared vegetables away to cook them.

“I almost attended there. But-” His gaze flicked to his covered arms. “It just wasn’t for me.”

Miwa hung around in the kitchen until the food was done, helping to set the table and serve up their meals.

It felt unnatural for Tobio to be seated at the table with his parents. He tried not to focus on that.

“So, Miwa, how is work going?” His father asked, ignoring his son sitting across from him.

“Oh, work is going really well. My manager is out on paternity leave so I'm acting manager at the studio until s- uh until he’s back.” 

The rest of their meal consisted of much the same conversations, his parents focus solely on Miwa and the only time he has to join is when she speaks to him directly.

Kageyama automatically went to do the dishes, and Miwa was having none of that. She pulled him out of the kitchen and into the living room.

“Tobio and I are going for a walk!” She informed their parents, leading her brother from the house before anyone could protest.

It was quiet for a while. They walked arm in arm under the gentle glow of street-lamps, the silence between them was comforting rather than suffocating.

“I found my soulmate this week.” Miwa admitted quietly, steering them into a park.

“Oh.” Came Tobio’s eloquent response.

“They’re a woman. She’s a girl, I mean.” She continued, her gaze pulled upwards to the stars glittering above them.

“I’m happy for you, is she nice?” Tobio pushed down that awful jealous feeling that threatened to rise in his chest.

“She’s absolutely wonderful. We’re going on a date tomorrow evening.” She admitted quietly. “You know who your soulmates are, don’t you?” She had stopped walking, turning to face her brother.

“I- they don’t know who I am, but yeah.” He said, hands tracing patterns across his arms without much thought. “Mum and dad don’t like the idea of my soulmates being boys… or me having two.” He continued, actively avoiding Miwa’s gaze.

“Can I see your marks?” She asked softly, resting a hand on her brother’s shoulder.

Tobio swallowed thickly, unzipping his jacket and pulling it off. Miwa smiled in thanks, eyes scanning carefully over the messages written across her brother’s arms.

“You don’t write to them at all?” She sounded troubled, and when Tobio finally looked at her, he saw that her face was set into a deep frown.

“I have, two or three times.” He paused, eyes drawn to his left wrist.

**I love you <3**

**_Fuck off._ **

**_I love you too._ **

He felt unshed tears burning in his eyes.

“I wish I could talk to them. I just-” his breath hitched, and his shoulders were shaking now with the effort of not completely breaking down. “I don’t want them to hate me.” He met his sister’s eyes helplessly.

“ _ Tobio-chan! _ ” Oikawa Toru stood not five feet away from him. Iwaizumi was not far behind.

Tobio pulled his arms away from Miwa as if they burned, fumbling with his jacket. His breathing was fast and heavy, and the tears he was holding back were streaming freely down his cheeks. He didn’t respond to Oikawa’s greeting, busy trying to cover his arms before they other boys noticed the words inked across his skin.

“I’m sorry, Kageyama. Oikawa doesn’t know how to not be an idiot.” Iwaizumi said in way of greeting, his focus solely on Tobio’s now covered arms.

“I- it’s okay. We were just heading home.” Tobio mumbled, wiping the tears from his cheeks.

He grabbed Miwa’s arm, pulling her past the couple.

He tried to block out the voices behind him.

“Iwa-chan did you  _ see _ his-”

“Shut up, shittykawa. You’re imagining things.”

“No, Hajime  _ listen _ . I saw our w-”

“I think it’s time for us to head back home, Toru.”

Kageyama walked faster.

“Were they your…?” Miwa trailed off, looking over her shoulder at the duo they had left behind.

“Yes. I don’t want to talk about it.” Tobio said, slowing down when he was sure they were far enough away.

This was not how he wanted this day to go.

“Tobio?” Miwa asked hesitantly, stopping once again.

“What is it this time, Mi?” He was tugging at his sleeves, avoiding making eye contact.

“Are mum and dad- are they treating you okay?”

Tobio felt his walls - already cracked beyond repair - break down completely. He shook his head, shoulder’s hunched over himself.

“Oh, Tobio, I’m so  _ so  _ sorry.” She spoke quietly, pulling her brother into a tight hug.

They stayed like that for a while, hugging each other under the pale light of a street-lamp, both teary and neither speaking.

“Move in with me.” Miwa was the first to speak. “I’ll deal with mum and dad. I just- I want you to be safe.” She murmured, still hugging him tightly.

Tobio didn’t respond for a few moments.

“I don’t want to hurt them by leaving.” He admitted softly.

“ _ Hurt _ them? Tobio they are  _ abusing you _ .” Miwa pulled away, and showed Tobio her hands. A few jagged scars were cut across her skin. “When I was a kid mum and dad got real mad at me for liking this girl in my class. Mum was cleaning the dishes when I told them.” She took a deep breath before she continued. “She got really mad and started throwing plates and things at me. She didn’t hit me, thank god. But she made me clean up the glass and porcelain with my  _ bare hands _ while she watched.” Miwa sighed, closing her eyes briefly.

“You- you  _ knew _ they were like this and you  _ left me with them _ ?!” Tobio practically shouted, stepping away from his sister.

“I’m sorry, Tobio. I’m so  _ fucking  _ sorry. I didn’t know how bad it would be for you. If I had known I never would have left you.” She tried to swallow the lump in her throat. “I was so scared, and I thought that if I was gone, they would be less angry all the time.” She took a deep breath, clenching her fist into the fabric of her jumper.

They stared at each other for at least a minute before Tobio broke the suffocating silence.

“Can I really move with you?” His voice was small.

“Of course. When we get back to mum and dad’s, you go upstairs and pack a bag. Pack as much as you need. I’ll talk to them and then we’ll go.” She reached out a hand, and Tobio took it gladly.

He grew considerably more nervous the closer they got to the house.

“Go straight upstairs. I’ll do all the talking.” Miwa instructed, knocking on the door.

Tobio did as he was told. He went to his room without so much as a greeting to his parents, and pulled open his school bag and gym bag. He shoved all of his school books into his bag, followed by as many clothes as he could fit. Shoes and volleyball trophies, anything he could get his hands on. His laptop and charger were the last to be packed.

He heard the sound of glass breaking downstairs, shouting too.

He zipped up his bags and ran down stairs, he was horrified to see Miwa had a cut across her cheek, not dissimilar to the ones inflicted by his mother’s ring.

She was clutching his volleyball jacket in her hand.

“Let’s go, Tobio.” She sighed, shaking her head at their parents.

“If you step out that door, you can forget about  _ ever  _ coming back!” Their mother’s shrill voice did nothing to deter their movements.

They stepped outside, the door slammed shut behind them.

“Are you okay?” Tobio asked, eyeing his sister’s bloodied face.

“Yeah, of course. Just a scratch. Let’s go.” They walked to Miwa’s apartment hand in hand, neither willing to acknowledge their tears.

“I have a spare room for you, we can unpack tonight or tomorrow. We’ll have to go shopping and-” She was cut off by Tobio wrapping her into a bone-crushing hug.

“I love you.” His voice was muffled against her shoulder.

“I love you too.” She smiled and showed him to his room. “I hope it’s okay, it’s not much but… it’s a bed and four walls.” She shrugged. “I’ll leave you to get comfortable.”

Tobio didn’t know what he was supposed to do, so he unpacked his bags, hung up his clothes, and started on his homework.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kind of short but I had to split it because it got way too long lmao.  
> Also, don't come for me if my depictions of injuries are incorrect. I'm just leeching off personal experience.

Tobio didn’t go to school the next day. Miwa took the day off work.

They talked.

A lot.

They talked about their parents, Miwa apologised for leaving Tobio, who confessed he didn’t blame her. Insisting he would have done the same. They talked about soulmates, Miwa offered to bring her girlfriend over one day, Tobio agreed excitedly.

“So… those  _ were _ your soulmates last night, weren’t they?” Miwa’s tone was cautious. It was obviously a subject her brother was uncomfortable talking about.

“Yeah, Iwaizumi and Oikawa senpai. We went to middle school together. My captain and vice-captain.” He shrugged, making brief eye contact with his sister. “They uh… don’t know.” He revealed, looking away again.

“I thought so. Are you going to ya know…  _ talk  _ to them?” She asked, looking down at Tobio’s uncovered words.

“I want to, but Oikawa-san hates me, and they’re already so  _ happy  _ together. I don’t want to ruin that for them.” Tobio shrugged and smiled.

“That is  _ bullshit _ . You couldn’t ruin it if you tried. Tobio. You are literally bound together by  _ fate and destiny _ .” She paused. “I mean, I get it. Mum and dad were probably complete shit about you having two dudes, and that Oikawa guy might be a dick, but you have to at least acknowledge them.” She reached over cautiously, and traced the words inked across Tobio’s skin. “You won’t know how they feel unless you talk to them.” She said.

“I know. It’s just hard. When I was in middle school, Oikawa-senpai tried to  _ hit me across the face  _ when I asked him to show me how to do a jump serve. It was… He would’ve done it if Iwaizumi-senpai hadn’t shown up.” Tobio said, watching Miwa’s hand trace across a crude drawing of an alien.

**_That is the ugliest drawing I have ever seen._ **

“Well, in any case, you need to take time for yourself. Get comfortable here, we can go over shopping lists and chore schedules next week. I work evenings and my housemate has a  _ crazy _ roster so I never know when they’re home.” She contemplated a moment before taking Tobio’s hands in her own. “I want you to see someone. A therapist or something. I saw someone after I moved out, she really helped me. And you have been through a lot worse than I have.” She was clearly hesitant to broach the subject.

“I think-” Tobio paused. “I think that sounds good. Thank you, for everything, Miwa.” He said.

They spent the rest of their day shopping, setting up Tobio’s room and just generally getting him comfortable in his new space.

“Mimi! I’m hooome~” A voice sang, the door slamming shut as a person quite literally danced into the kitchen. “I met th-” The person stopped short, eyes meeting Tobio’s. “Oh,  _ hello~  _ I’m Rui, Miwa’s housemate.  _ You _ must be Tobio, yes? I’ve heard  _ so much  _ about you!” Rui had bright blue hair cut into a bob, they had an undercut, dyed yellow. Tobio’s eyes flicked across their piercings, two on the nose, one on the lip and countless on their ears.

“Uh… yeah. That’s me. It’s nice to meet you.” He offered a hand to shake and Rui shook their head.

“I’m not  _ overly fond _ of physical contact with strangers, Tobio. No offence. But it is nice to meet you.” They explained.

“Ah, me either.” He said, more than happy to slip his hand back into his pocket. He watched in silence as Miwa was swept into a dramatic retelling of Rui’s day at university. He noticed they had an array of -  _ was that sparking gel pen?  _ \- writing across both arms, some Japanese and some English.

Tobio felt a sting of jealousy watching how easily Miwa and Rui flaunted their soulmates.

“Have you met your match?” He asked, trying his best to seem nonchalant. Miwa snorted, seeing through it instantly.

“Nope! But I know her! She lives in Australia. I’m planning a trip to see her when the semester break rolls around.” Rui answered brightly, practically shoving their glittery arms into Tobio’s face. “She’s really sweet!” They were certainly right, compliments and words of encouragement were crammed together amongst an assortment of seemingly random words and notes.

Tobio excused himself not long after, mumbling about homework.

“Don’t study too hard!” Miwa and Rui called in unison.  _ Creepy. _

He made extra careful not to get any ink on any part of himself as he worked, Miwa might have been right, but Tobio wasn’t ready to face either of his soulmates yet.

***

Tobio avoided the topic of soulmates as best as possible, he didn't engage in class discussions and always managed to slip away when his teammates brought it up. He still wore his jacket, and his undershirt too. Though it didn’t seem to matter much. Oikawa and Iwaizumi had not written anything new since the night they ran into each other. Tobio pretended that didn’t hurt, ignored the ache and emptiness he felt when he looked down at his unmarked skin.

He had more important things to worry about. Their match with Seijoh was coming up quickly. The team was training long hours and Tobio often ended up with more bruises littering his body than those from both of his soulmates combined. He stayed behind to practice serving on his own too, almost always the last to leave the gym. Suga would sometimes wait behind until Kageyama was done before going home himself, but it was clear that the first-year just wanted to be left alone.

It wasn’t a surprise when he pushed himself too hard. He was alone in the gym, trying to replicate Oikawa’s jump serve, he miscalculated his landing and twisted his ankle. He knew immediately that he had fucked something up, a sharp pain shooting up his leg as he tried to stand.

“Fuck.  _ Fuck! _ ”

Kageyama did his best to limp (hop) to where his gym bag was, fetching his phone.

_ “Tobio? Is everything okay?”  _ Miwa’s voice floated through the speaker, and Tobio almost sobbed in relief.

“C-can you come pick me up from the school gym? I twisted my ankle. Can’t really walk right now.” He cringed as his voice cracked, and did his best not to break down in tears.

_ “Holy shit, I told you to be careful! Rui and I will be there soon. Don’t move.”  _ She said, hanging up immediately after.

He sat down, fiddling with his phone. His ankle was throbbing, but he knew better than to take off his shoes to check out the damage. He needed to keep the injury as compressed and as stable as possible until he was able to properly treat it.

The minutes ticked by agonisingly slow, the fifteen minutes it took his sister to arrive might as well have been hours.

Rui and Miwa helped him up, he had an arm around each of their shoulders as he was led back to the car.

“You aren’t allowed any extra practice time unless you have supervision, do you understand?” Miwa asked, helping her brother into the car.

“That isn’t fair! This would have happened whether I was alone or with Sugawara senpai.” Tobio protested, accepting the freeze-pack that was offered.

Neither of them answered him. Tobio shrunk back into the seat. His hand, the one not pressing the compress to his ankle, was shaking.

“I’m sorry.” His voice was thick with tears. “Please don’t be angry with me. I didn’t mean to-” Rui cut him off.

“Eh?! We’re not  _ mad _ at you! Miwa and I are worried about you, silly~” They said, eyes fixed on him in the rear-view mirror.

Tobio nodded, trying to steady his breathing.

_ They are not your parents. _

_ You are safe here. _

_ They can’t hurt you. _

_ It’s okay. _

The rest of the car trip was relatively silent. Kageyama’s ankle was already feeling slightly better, and he felt bad for making such a big deal out of hurting himself. 

He shrugged off both offers for help when they arrived at their apartment, walking tentatively to his room and ignoring the looks of growing concern that his sister was giving him. He just wanted to sleep.

He spent a couple of minutes looking for his ACE wrap, finding the elastic bandages in his desk drawer. He sat on his bed and took off his shoe and sock.

_ What the… _

There was already bruising around the ankle.

Even if it was a bad sprain, which Tobio was sure it wasn’t, bruising shouldn’t appear for 3-5 days after the initial injury.

Unless…

_ Unless it isn’t my injury that’s bruising. _

Tobio’s chest tightened, staring at the bruising that mottled his skin. Surely neither would risk injury this close to a practice match? Nobody had written anything about getting hurt. His skin remained painfully ink-free. Oikawa had stopped leaving obnoxious ‘good morning’ notes, Iwaizumi didn’t scrawl reminders across skin anymore. He had no way of knowing if one of them was injured. The thought didn’t sit comfortably with him.

He took a deep breath, wrapped his ankle, and pushed aside his worry. He changed out of his practice clothes and turned on his laptop. He wanted to find out as much about the Seijoh team as possible. He watched their official matches from the previous year, eyes trained on the detail of every player, their lineups too. He knew they would be different during their practice match. They had different players and Oikawa was captain now. Iwaizumi was their ace, and he had been a powerful spiker even in middle school.

Soulmate drama could wait until after Karasuno won. Because they would win. Tobio was sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: Karasuno vs Aoba Johsai


	7. Chapter 7

“Long time no see, King.” Tobio stopped walking, ignoring the glances from Tanaka and Daichi. “I look forward to seeing what kind of dictatorship you’re running.” Kindaichi continued, a hand on his hip as he stared down his former teammate.

Tanaka looked like he would gladly punch the turnip-haired player if Daichi wasn’t holding him back.

“Yeah.” Tobio said, already walking away.

The first-year setter tried to ignore the way that nickname made his stomach churn. They had a game to focus on, and he had changed since the previous year. He would prove it to them. Hinata was freaking out, but Tobio didn’t have time to deal with that. Daichi and Tanaka seemed to have it handled anyway. He was busy taking in Aoba Johsai’s team members. Oikawa wasn’t setting for the team. Tobio couldn’t see their captain anywhere. That didn’t sit well with him.

Tobio looked away, turning to warm up with his own team. It wouldn’t do him any good to dwell on Oikawa before the game.

“Woah! Their ace is the second shortest on the team!” Tanaka exclaimed, having given up on reassuring Hinata.

“Iwaizumi-san doesn’t need height.” Tobio said, feeling defensive of his old senpai. “He had powerful attacks in middle school, and I can’t imagine how he’s improved since then.” He glanced at Tanaka, who was glaring at their opponents.

“Oh hoho, sounds like someone has a  _ crush  _ on Seijoh’s ace.” The wing-spiker teased, voice as obnoxiously loud as ever. A handful of Seijoh players turned to face them, and Kageyama could feel his face burning.

“Shut up, Tanaka. And stop making that face.” The setter grumbled, pointedly not making eye-contact with Iwaizumi as he stared from across the court.

“Kageyama?” The boy in question froze as his name was called.

“Iwaizumi-san. Nice to see you again.” Tobio bowed stiffly, trying to ignore the rising panic that threatened his collected exterior.

“It’s good to see you too, Kageyama. How have you been?” Iwaizumi asked, offering a smile.

“I-”  _ How had he been?  _ “Good. And you?” Tobio wanted nothing more than to turn and run away, but he couldn’t. He felt like he was glued to the floor.

“Yeah, good. Being vice-captain to Oikawa is exhausting, as you can imagine, but it’s been good.” The wing-spiker grinned, a hand coming up to rest at the nape of his neck.

_ He feels just as awkward as I do _ . Tobio realised with a start.

“Oh. Uh- yeah. Yeah. He um-” Kageyama was struggling with forming a coherent sentence.

“Kageyama! Warm-up! We need you to be in top shape!” Suga called, suddenly right beside him.  _ Thank god for Sugawara Koushi. _ “We don’t have time for…  _ fraternising _ .” He teased, winking at Iwaizumi.  _ I take it back. _ “We’ll be taking our setter back now, Iwaizumi.” And he pulled Kageyama away, who was still trying to sputter out protests.

The game started quickly after that, and Karasuno was not doing well. Between taunts from the opposition (and his own team) and the looming threat of Oikawa, Tobio was quite stressed.

Not to mention Hinata’s anxiety causing problems for everyone on Karasuno’s team.

“Hey, stop being so nervous already!” Kageyama shouted, pulling the red-head up by his collar.

“One more chance, just give me one more chance!” The middle blocker begged, looking once again like he might be sick.

“He hasn’t changed at all.” Kindaichi smirked, Kunimi at his side. Kageyama pretended not to hear them.

“Don’t mind, we’ll get the next one!” Daichi called, clapping his hands together.

Kageyama spared a glance at their captain, before realising their current rotation positions.

_ Ah, crap. Hinata’s up to serve. Talk about timing. _

Seijoh was at set point, and Hinata’s serves were bad at best.

Tobio forced his eyes away from his teammate, turning to face the other side of the court.

He heard the whistle blow, heard Hinata exclaim -  _ why is he surprised by the whistle? -  _ and then… felt a ball slam into the back of his head.

The gym went silent, the ball bouncing twice before rolling to a stop.

The whistle blew one again. They had lost the first set.

Tobio turned slowly to face Hinata, his head pounding. His face was fixed in a glare, staring down the other first-year.

“Why are you so afraid?” He asked, voice low. He pushed himself into Hinata’s personal space. “Is it because of the tall opponents? The fact that this is your first practice match? Hmm? Hmm?” He reached up, slapping his hand against the back of his head. “Tell me, is there anything scarier than hitting a serve into the back of my head?” He smacked his head again.

“No. There isn’t anything more frightening...” Hinata spoke quietly, staring blankly up at Tobio.

“Then you don’t have any reason to be nervous anymore, do you? You’ve already done the scariest thing possible.” His hand smacked into the back of his head once again. “Now get back on the court, dumbass!” He yelled, stepping back and pointing towards the net.

Kageyama stepped away, leaving Tanaka to give Hinata some rousing speech about teamwork. His attention was on Seijoh’s team, he was doing his best to analyse their plays from the first set, but with Hinata being so distracting, he had missed a lot of valuable information on them. And Oikawa was still a wildcard. If he showed up, they would be in trouble.

The game resumed shortly after, and Kageyama tossed for Hinata, trying their quick attack.

The spiker missed.

“Ha, you have to hit tosses like that or the king will get upset.” Kindaichi said, grinning maliciously at Hinata through the net.

“Hinata-” Tobio was cut off by Kindaichi.

“Ooh… here it comes.” He mocked, stage whispering to the redhead.

“The toss was too high. Sorry.” Kageyama continued, trying his best to block out the voices of Kunimi and Kindaichi.

The play continued, and Karasuno was doing well. Hinata and Kageyama had managed to sync up, their quick too fast for blocks to be formed. And Hinata was making an excellent decoy.

_ Did that freak you out? I think so. I need you to be totally preoccupied with Hinata. _

“Kageyama-kun!” The setter looked up, meeting Iwaizumi’s gaze. “Nice kill.” He called, flashing a thumbs up.

_ What? _

“Uh- Thanks!” He said back, blushing as he turned to address his team.

They continued to score, The King’s Toss scattering Aoba Johsai’s blocks easily. Until they called a time out. Kageyama watched in satisfaction as their opponents tried to work out how to stop their attacks.

_ We might suck at defending, but we make that up in our attacks. _

He turned away, taking a quick drink, missing the way Iwaizumi turned to look directly at him.

When they went back to playing, the rotation was set in such a way that Kageyama and Tsukishima were standing side by side. Neither seemed to be impressed by that. They bickered consistently, ignoring Daichi’s warning and Tanaka’s shouts about teamwork.

“Why are you so happy? I’m the one who blocked the ball.” Tsukishima quipped, glancing between Kageyama and Iwaizumi.

“Hey! It hit my hand too!” The setter defended, glaring at the tall blond.

Iwaizumi laughed, stepping back from the net.

They won the set, despite Kageyama bickering endlessly with Tsukishima and Hinata.

Kageyama was hovering behind Daichi and Ennoshita, both discussing their relief that Seijoh didn’t have exceptionally strong servers.

“Our defence is full of holes. I don’t know if we could win like that.” Daichi admitted, smiling brightly despite his concerned tone.

“Don’t let your guard down.” Kageyama cut in, looking from his captain to the other team. “I have a feeling their setter isn’t their starter.” He admitted, before their conversation was cut short by the sound of glee-filled screaming from the gym entrance.

“Oh. You’re back, Oikawa.” Irihata, one of their coaches, greeted the new addition to Seijoh’s team. “How’s the ankle?” He asked, looking up at the captain.

“Perfect.” Oikawa flashed a grin, holding up the ‘okay’ hand gesture. “I’m ready to start practising again! It was only a light sprain.” Tobio wanted to turn around and run. He was hyper-aware of the bruising still covering his ankle.  _ So it was Oikawa. _

“Be more careful next time, you’re the reason we had to get Kageyama in to play. And we look ridiculous without our starting setter.” The couch sighed, and Oikawa was soon looking away, distracted by a group of girls watching from the stands.

Kageyama shot Suga a fearful look, stepping away from the group and trying to calm himself down.

Tanaka and Daichi were talking about Oikawa, and Tobio tried to approach the conversation from a tactical standpoint.

“Oikawa-san is at the top of his class in attacks and team plays. He is an aggressive player. A super offensive setter. And he’s also extremely unpleasant.” Tobio turned to look at Hinata, before looking back to Daichi and Ennoshita.

“What? Worse than you?” Hinata asked, seeming anxious once again.

“Even worse than Tsukishima.” Kageyama admitted. The middle blocker didn’t look pleased with the comparison.

“You know him from Kitagawa Daiichi?” Tanaka asked, eyes still firmly fixed on Oikawa.

“Yes. He was my upperclassman in middle school.” Tobio admitted, his fists clenching at his sides.

Suga stepped towards the other setter, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

Oikawa turned around.

“Yoo-hoo! Long time no see, Tobio-chan!” He waved, a fake smile set firmly in place.

“Shut up, Shittykawa. We ran into him a few days ago.” Iwaizumi grumbled, elbowing his soulmate harshly. 

“Mean, Iwa-chan! I just wanted to talk to the famous  _ King of the court. _ ” Oikawa pouted, and Tobio did his best not to flinch at the nickname.

Tobio turned away, blinking back tears.

“I learned how to serve and block from watching him. He is  _ very  _ good.” Tobio spoke directly to Daichi, paying no mind to the bewildered looks from his teammates.

“Oh, you flatter me, Tobio-chan!” Oikawa grinned, stepping towards Kageyama.

“Hey, dumbass. Get warmed up.” Iwaizumi shouted, shoving Oikawa back to his own team. “Sorry about him, Kageyama.” He smiled, looking fondly back at Oikawa.

“It’s no problem.” Suga answered for Kageyama, stepping between the two of them. “I think your team is waiting for you, Iwaizumi.” His tone was sweet, though it left little room for arguments. Kageyama sighed in relief, turning away and striking up a conversation with Daichi about their strategy for the third set.

Kageyama found it increasingly difficult to concentrate on the game, even with Oikawa on the sidelines, the pressure seemed to have risen to stifling levels. He could feel the burn of Oikawa’s calculating gaze tracking his movements, even as the other setter warmed up. Tobio felt like he was going to choke on his own rising panic.

The game was rather unremarkable, aside from Oikawa’s keen watch over Karasuno’s setter. And the crows were winning too, Kageyama wanted to finish the game as soon as possible, shutting down Seijoh before Oikawa even got the chance to bring his team back. Of course, that didn’t work, but it was a valiant effort.

Oikawa’s serve was formidable. It was terrifying. Tobio watched in a strange mix of awe and horror. He was suddenly reminded of a moment, it felt like a lifetime ago when he had asked Oikawa for tips on a jump serve. The captain had tried to hit him. Kageyama strengthened his resolve. Oikawa Toru was not, and never would be, his soulmate. He was a rival. A stepping-stone to nationals.

He blocked out all distractions, doubling down on his effort to beat the other setter. He tossed, it was too high. Too quick.

“Careful, King.” Tsukishima’s voice called mockingly from beside him. “Keep tossing like that and your peasant subjects might revolt.” He snickered, and Tobio heard Kindaichi muttering to Kunimi across from him.

He swallowed the lump in his throat, determined not to cry in the middle of the court, and bowed to the middle blocker.

“I’m sorry. I’ll get the next.” His fists were clenched, and he spoke only loud enough for Tsukishima to hear. He let out a breath, wiped his palms on his shorts, and turned back to the game.

“Bring it to me!” Hinata called, already running to the left. Kageyama almost grinned, hearing the squeal of Hinata’s sneakers as he pivoted and darted back to the right.

The middle blocker jumped, as high as he could, eyes screwed shut. Tobio set the ball, watching in satisfaction as it blew right passed Oikawa. The captain watched in shock as the whistle blew. The game was over.

Kageyama had won.

The team cheered, huddling together to celebrate, but Kageyama was still standing in his position, eyes locked with Oikawa’s.

“Come on, Shittykawa, we’re lining up now.” Iwaizumi called, gently pulling his soulmate away. Kageyama pretended that the sight didn’t make his stomach lurch. He turned away, joining his own team.

  
  


They were making their way out, Kageyama was lingering behind the group, his mind racing. He didn’t notice when Hinata jumped in front of his, dramatically shouting about a spike from the match.

Tobio tripped, knocking Hinata over and landing hard on the tarmac of the car park.

He heard Kindaichi’s familiar laugh from behind him, accompanied by a quiet snickering from Kunimi. Hinata was scrambling up, apologizing profusely and seeming thoroughly embarrassed.

Iwaizumi offered a hand to help Kageyama up.

The first-year took it gratefully, despite Oikawa scoffing at the gesture.

“Are you hurt?” The ace asked quietly, and Kageyama shook his head.

“Don’t lie,  Bakageyama! Your knee is bleeding!” Hinata cried, pointing frantically to the wound.

Kageyama looked down at his own knee before his eyes drifted to where Oikawa and Iwaizumi sported identical grazes.

They both followed his gaze, looking down at their skinned knees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle down, ducklings. We have some fucking communication in store for the next chapter!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, y'all really hate cliffhangers, huh? Never fear, ducklings. A new chapter for your reading pleasure.  
> Comments and Kudos much appreciated. If you wanna come and yell at me (about this story, or others, or anything) you can find me at http://itsy-bitsy-boy.tumblr.com/

“I- I need to-” He stuttered for a few moments before turning and running back inside the gym building. He found the nearest bathroom and locked himself in one of the stalls. His hands were shaking as he pulled out his phone.

“Tobio? Are you okay?” Miwa picked up on the fourth ring, and she sounded concerned.

“C-can you come pick me up? I- I’m at Aoba Johsai and Oikawa and Iwaizumi-” He tried his best not to start sobbing. “They found out and I wasn’t  _ ready _ and-” He heard the bathroom door open.

“Tobio-chan? I know you’re in there.” Oikawa called, his voice getting closer to the stall Kageyama had barricaded himself in.

“I’m at work right now, Tobio. But Rui can come pick you up. They’ll be there in ten minutes, okay? It’s okay, Tobio. Just take a deep breath for me, okay?” She spoke softly, until she heard his breathing even out. “I need to go, I have a client waiting for me. Will you be okay?” She asked. He hummed in response, all too aware of the sneakers just barely visible under the stall door.

He hung up and wiped his eyes.

_ Ten minutes. I just need to wait ten minutes. _ He repeated to himself, his arms curling around his midsection.  _ I can do that. _

And he could, until he noticed black ink scrawling its way across his arms.

**I’m not leaving until you talk to me, Tobio-chan.**

**_We do need to talk, Kageyama._ **

_ Just ten minutes. Just ten minutes. Maybe eight. Rui is a notoriously fast driver. Just ten minutes. _

**Answer us, Tobio-chan.**

**_Please. We’re worried._ **

**Speak for yourself, Iwa-chan.**

There was a tense few seconds where neither wrote anything.

“You can’t leave without speaking to us.” Oikawa’s voice called, and Tobio knew he was right.

“We aren’t going to hold him hostage, Shittykawa.” Iwaizumi admonished, followed quickly by  _ thwack  _ and Oikawa yelping in pain.

Kageyama’s phone pinged.

**_*From: Ruin*_ **

**_5 minutes away (☉_☉)_ **

**_*From: Ruin*_ **

**_Hang in there._ **

“At least let us look at your knee, I have a first aid kit with me.” Iwaizumi asked, voice closer than it was before.

Tobio took a deep breath before unlocking the door and stepping out.

Oikawa was leaning against the wall and scowling. Iwaizumi gestured to the bench lined with sinks, and Tobio hoisted himself up. He sat quietly, his hands wringing together.

“How long have you known?” Oikawa asked harshly, glaring accusingly as Iwaizumi wet some toilet paper to dab at the still bloody scrape.

“Since middle school. When I joined the volleyball team.” Tobio admitted easily, no point in lying.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Iwaizumi asked gently, eyes focused on the task at hand.

“You had already found each other, and-” Tobio hesitated, his gaze flickering to where Oikawa was standing. “Neither of you liked me very much. I didn’t want to get in the way.” He winced, jerking back from Iwaizumi’s hands.

“Okay. We probably weren’t the greatest upperclassmen-” Iwaizumi began, only to be cut off by scoffs from Kageyama and Oikawa. “But that doesn’t mean we would have rejected you.” He insisted, though he himself didn’t even sound completely sure.

“So, you’ve known for like three years then?” Oikawa asked, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrows accusingly. “What’s with all the mysterious injuries? Surely you can’t suck at volleyball that much.” His tone was malicious, and Tobio flinched.

“I- it’s not- That isn’t-” The first-year took a deep breath and clenched his fists at his side. “That isn’t any of your business Oikawa-san. You are  _ not  _ my soulmate. You do not  _ want  _ to be my soulmate and therefore you have no authority to demand details about my life.” He spoke without looking at either of them, and they stared back at him in shock.

“No need to get  _ touchy,  _ Tobio-chan. I was just curious.” Oikawa responded, with a petulant pout.

Iwaizumi was frowning as he applied the adhesive bandage to Tobio’s knee.

“I never said I didn’t want to be your soulmate, Kageyama.” He said, moving away to flush the bloody toilet paper.

Kageyama gaped for a moment, before turning his gaze from Iwaizumi to Oikawa. This wasn’t what he wanted, Oikawa looked hurt and angry.

“You can’t be serious, Iwa-chan? Do you want to choose  _ Tobio-chan  _ over me? Seriously?” Toru’s voice rose and Kageyama flinched away from the two of them.

“Toru, that isn’t what I said-” Iwaizumi wasn’t able to get a sentence out.

“Oh? Well, it was certainly implied,  _ Hajime. _ ” The younger third-year said, volume rising.

“God, Toru, you can be such a shithead sometimes!” Iwaizumi retorted, crossing his arms.

“A shithead? You just told me you wanted to be with  _ someone else _ !”

Kageyama wanted to leave, he wanted to go back in time and stop this entire mess from happening. He wanted Oikawa to stop shouting.

“I don’t want to be your soulmate!” He yelled, silencing both of them. “Not- not romantically at least. I don’t- I just want to be your friend.” He spoke softer, his voice ringing loudly in the absence of shouting. “A platonic soulmate bond. It’s not  _ uncommon _ .” Tobio was standing now, his hands clenched in the straps of his gym bag.

“I… I guess would like to  _ try  _ being friends.” Iwaizumi agreed, looking cautiously at Oikawa.

The brunette setter let out a dramatic sigh.

“If you  _ insist. _ But you can’t fall in love with us, okay, Tobio-chan? And don’t expect me to write to you.” Oikawa complied, though he didn’t look happy about it.

Tobio nodded once.

“Thank you for patching up my knee.” He mumbled, before making his way to the door.

“Wait, Kageyama! Can I give you my number?” Iwaizumi asked, placing a hand on the younger boy’s shoulder. “In case you ever need anything.” He explained.

“I- uh okay.” He handed over his phone, ignoring the glare that Oikawa was sending his way.

“Cool. I texted myself so I have your number too.” Iwaizumi smiled, before glancing at his boyfriend.

“Absolutely  _ not _ , Iwa-chan.” Oikawa turned away dramatically and Iwaizumi let out an exasperated sigh.

“I can see what you mean about him being an exhausting captain to work with.” Kageyama mumbled, walking out of the bathroom.

He heard Iwaizumi laugh, followed by an indignant shriek of  _ ‘You said what?! Iwa-chan, mean!’ _

Kageyama emerged from the gym and was met by Sugawara and Daichi hovering worriedly near the doorway, a very stressed looking Rui behind them.

“To-chan! You’re alive!” They shouted, pushing past Suga and grabbing Kageyama’s hand. “You didn’t answer my text saying I was here and I was  _ so worried  _ about you!” They shrieked, showing their phone screen.

“Kageyama are you okay, Rui said they got a text from your sister about coming to pick you up?” Daichi asked, staring suspiciously at them.

“Yeah, Rui’s one of my housemates. My sister is at work and couldn’t pick me up.” He explained, shrugging as Suga sent him an inquisitive look.

“Oh, Tobio-chan! Who is  _ this? _ ” Oikawa asked, emerging from the gym. Iwaizumi was following reluctantly. “I  _ love  _ your hair.” He complimented, smiling widely at Rui.

“You must be Oikawa. To-chan told me a lot about you.” Rui’s friendly demeanour dropped, and they glared at Oikawa.

“To-chan?” Oikawa repeated, scowling like the nickname left a sour taste in his mouth. “I don’t know what  _ Tobio-chan  _ has told you-” He was cut off by Iwaizumi’s hand moving to cover his mouth.

“We’ll see you later, Kageyama. Congratulations on your victory.” He offered a hesitant smile before dragging Oikawa away.

There was a pause where nobody spoke.

“Your soulmates are the Grand King and Ace of Seijoh?” Hinata shouted, effectively breaking the silence.

“Eh? Mr Unpleasant?!” Tanaka yelled, both crowding around a very overwhelmed Kageyama.

“That’s enough! You can bother Kageyama about it next practice. We’re going home now.” Rui commanded, thanking Daichi and Suga for waiting with them, and pulling Kageyama to their car.

Rui turned on the radio and didn’t say anything on the drive home. Kageyama cried. A lot.

When they arrived at their place, Rui set about the kitchen, preparing two cups of tea.

“Do you want to talk about it?” They asked softly, leaning against the kitchen counter.

Tobio shrugged, sitting on the floor and curling into a ball, his arms wrapped around his legs.

“We do have chairs you know.” Rui teased, bringing over a mug and sitting beside Tobio.

“More comfortable this way.” He explained, taking the mug from them. “I wasn’t expecting it. Them finding out. Not like that, not today.” He screwed his eyes shut and let out a deep sigh. “I wanted to wait until I had started seeing a therapist and  _ talking  _ about stuff. I have all of this anger and hurt inside me and so much of it is from him- from them. I wanted time to work on myself before I had to work on us.” He laughed self-deprecatingly and took a sip of tea.

“So you felt like you had an opportunity to heal and that was taken away from you?” They asked, voice carefully neutral.

“Exactly! I just- When I see Oikawa-san I see everything I’ve failed to be and when I see Iwaizumi-san I see everything I can’t have. It _hurts_ when they leave stupid fucking good morning notes _on_ _my skin_. I hate knowing that every time my parents-” Tobio cut himself off abruptly. “Oikawa asked if all of my mysterious injuries were because I’m just really bad at volleyball. Before he knew who I was he would always ask if I was okay or needed help. He doesn’t care anymore.” He set the tea down and rested his head on his folded arms.

Rui watched carefully but didn’t say anything, Tobio wasn’t finished yet.

“It feels like I’ve lost them. Before we had…  _ something  _ and now…” His shoulders shook as he wept into his arms. “I hate them. Us. I hate myself. M-maybe if I was  _ better  _ or- or less f-fucked up-” He choked out between sobs, and stared up at Rui like they held all of his answers.

Their response was simple, as they helped him up and handed him a box of tissues.

“Life’s a bitch. Let’s get you a therapist.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama does indeed go to therapy!  
> He also has a chance encounter at the arcade *side eye emoji*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I had 2 (two!) laptops crash during quarantine and online classes were kicking my butt :(  
> I didn't go into detail about therapy. For now, I'm just using it as a narrative device so that you guys get more of a look into Kageyama's thoughts and feelings.

Iwaizumi sent Kageyama a lot of texts. He wrote to Oikawa and Kageyama on his skin. Oikawa stopped writing altogether. Kageyama ignored both methods of communication.

Volleyball practice had stopped being a safe space, between questions from Hinata, Nishinoya and Tanaka, and Tsukishima’s less than subtle quips, it was a feat that the setter showed up for practice at all. Still, Kageyama knew that going to practice was better for him than skipping. So he went, though he communicated very little with his teammates. Though not everyone seemed to get the memo.

“Kageyama! Let’s work on our quick after we finish practice today!” Hinata shouted, voice echoing across the gym.

“Dumbass, I already told you I’m leaving early today. You’re so stupid you can’t remember anything!” Kageyama retorted, flinging a volleyball at his teammate.

“Ahh! Mean, you’re so mean!” The middle blocker shouted, jumping on the spot indignantly.

Kageyama sighed, pulling his sleeves back down into place.

“Kageyama-kun, you know you don’t have to wear so many layers at practice anymore? We all already  _ know  _ about your soulm-” Suga had walked over, smiling at his junior setter.

“Please,” Kageyama interrupted, “don’t talk about them. My layers make me feel comfortable. I prefer it this way.” He shrugged, eyes flickering from his covered forearms to his vice-captain.

“Okay, whatever makes you most comfortable.” Suga inclined his head, still smiling softly. “We’re a safe space here though, you know that, right?” Suga asked, lowering his voice slightly.

“Yeah. Yes. I know. Can we get back to practice now?” Kageyama turned away before Suga could answer, walking over to the rest of the team.

He practised in near-silence for the next half an hour, before the gym doors opened.

“Tobio! Let’s go!” Miwa called, standing in the doorway. Kageyama startled, narrowly avoiding a serve to the face.

The setter rushed to pack up his stuff, thanking Daichi and Suga for practice, and ran out the door to follow his sister. 

“So, are you excited for therapy?” Miwa asked, buckling her seatbelt and fiddling with the stereo.

“Is anyone ever excited about therapy?” He replied, frowning to himself.

“Don’t be like that! We can get ice-cream or something on the way home. As a reward for going to therapy. That can be our thing!” Miwa smiled brightly, and he was more than happy to just let her talk. God knows he would be doing enough of that during his appointment.

***

Therapy was difficult for Kageyama, he struggled to find the right words and he felt too defensive to answer many of the questions asked of him. He hadn’t told her about his parents, or his soulmates. She knew about them, he had written them down on his consultation papers, but he wasn’t ready to talk about them. Of course, his therapist was more than happy to wait, being a firm believer in mutual trust as the foundation for good mental health support.

“So your teammate, Tsukishima, was it?” She paused, waiting for his confirmation. “He calls you ‘King’ and it upsets you because it brings up memories of… middle school?” Tobio nodded once again. “You wanna tell me about that?” She asked, pen scratching across her notebook.

“Do I have a choice?” He huffed, reaching for her basket of fidget toys.

“You always have a choice here, Tobio. If you really wanted to, we could spend our whole session talking about volleyball strategies or your favourite video game.” She offered, smiling. He thought it was a touch too condescending but instead of calling her out he just sighed.

His hand closed around a fidget cube.

“I was… a bad teammate. I pushed away all of my friends because I wanted to be better at volleyball.” He kept his eyes downcast, fingers flying across the various buttons and switches on the plastic toy. “I was going through things- stuff at home wasn’t good. And my-” He stopped talking, his breath was coming out in shuddering gasps. “My  _ soulmates _ were existing without me. I wanted-” He furrowed his eyebrows. “Volleyball was all that I had.”

His therapist hummed, taking a sip of water.

“I don’t want to be an oppressive king. I don’t want to be a _dictator_ or have people _afraid_ of me. I want-” A lump rose in his throat and tears welled in his eyes. “I just want people to see me. I want people to like me.” He admitted, reaching for the box of tissues.

***

“So, how was it?” Miwa asked, looking up from her magazine in the waiting room.

“Terrible. I cried. You owe me ice-cream.” Tobio muttered, pulling his sister in for a hug. “I love you.” His voice was muffled against her shoulder, but she heard him loud and clear.

“Love you too, little bro. I’ll pay and then we can blow this place. Get some snacks and hang out. Just us.” She promised, leading him over to the reception desk.

“Can we go to the arcade?” Tobio asked, most of his attention drawn to the cup of ice-cream cradled in his hands.

“Way to ruin the fucking surprise, dude.” Miwa laughed, taking a sip of her milkshake. “I can never pass up an opportunity to beat you at that fucking basketball game.” She teased, elbowing him gently.

“As if. I let you win, and you know it.” He shoved her back playfully, laughing at her indignant yelp.

“Well, at least I know I’m actually better than you in air hockey. I honestly don't know how somebody can suck so hard as such a simple game.” Miwa quipped, side-stepping the jab that Tobio sent her way.

The arcade was fairly full, though not quite as rowdy as the weekend crowd. The Kageyama siblings took the atmosphere with ease, drifting from game to game and amassing quite the number of tickets.

“One more.” Miwa huffed, glaring at the neon red score, beeping incessantly in front of her.

“I’ve beaten at this silly basketball game like three times, admit it. I let you win last time. There’s a line behind us and it’s getting embarrassing.” Tobio admonished, glancing back at the small line apologetically.

“Fine~” Miwa sighed dramatically, collecting their winnings and moving off in a different direction.

The younger of the two let out his own sigh, following where he assumed his sister had gone.

He walked sound aimlessly for a few minutes before pulling out his phone.

**_*From: Better Setter*_ **

**_Don’t freak out. I’m in the bathroom._ **

**_*From: Better Setter*_ **

**_Also check your phone more often._ **

Tobio flushed, though she wasn’t there to see it, and made his way to the snack kiosk to wait. He fiddled with his phone, one hand tapping anxiously at the table while he waited. Ever since he had moved out of his parent's house he didn’t like being alone, especially not in crowded areas.

Not that he had to worry for too long.

“Yoohoo! Tobio-chan!” Oikawa Tooru’s voice sliced through the semi-peaceful silence Kageyama had wrapped himself in. “Are you here on a  _ date _ ?” Oikawa asked, pulling out a chair and sitting himself down.

“Don’t be an ass, Shittykawa. Let’s just go.” Iwaizumi’s gruff voice was an unsurprising addition.

“But Iwa-chan, I want to know why Kageyama Tobio, Mr Volleyball is Life, is skipping his afternoon practice at the arcade.” Oikawa responded; the teasing lilt to his tone held a sharp edge. He rested his chin in his palm and turned to face his junior. “So, tell me why.” He demanded.

Tobio floundered for a moment, flicking his eyes between the two. Tooru was sitting far too comfortably at his table, and Hajime was standing awkwardly behind Tooru.

“You might as well sit down, Iwaizumi-san.” The youngest mumbled, gesturing to the empty seat. Imaizumi did. “And to answer your question, not that I need to, I’m not here on a date. I had an appointment and my sister wanted to hang out at the arcade after we finished.” He had stopped looking at either of them, his eyes were drawn to his hands. He picked at the skin around his fingernails until the air around him was enough to make his hands sting.

“So  _ you’re  _ the reason my hands always look to ugly!” Oikawa accused, pointing a manicured finger at Tobio’s still shaking hands. “I just assumed it was stupid Iwa-chan being-” Said spiker cut him off, flicking Oikawa’s temple and glaring harshly at him.

“O-oh. Sorry.” Tobio’s hands fell into his lap.

The tension was thick and the silence deafening.

“So… Do you come here often?” Iwaizumi asked, shifting awkwardly in his seat. He ignored his boyfriend’s sudden burst of laughter. ‘ _ Iwa-chan that sounds like a shitty pick-up line. _ ’

“I used to, when I- back in middle school.” Tobio’s eyes flicked to the bathroom.  _ What was taking so long? _ “I just moved to an apartment complex near here so my sister has been taking me more often again.” He explained, shrugging.

“I didn’t know you moved.” Iwaizumi said, his eyebrows furrowing. “I swear I saw your mother weeding the garden at your old house last weekend.” He pointed out, meeting Kageyama’s gaze fully for the first time.

“Oh. Yeah. No, I moved in with Miwa. My parents still live in the same house.” He bit his lip, trying his best to convey that he wanted the conversation to end without having to verbalise it.

“That’s weird, Tobio-chan.” Oikawa spoke, his expression narrowed into a suspicious glare.

“With all due respect, Oikawa-san, it isn’t much of your business. You have no interest in me besides beating me at volleyball. You have made it quite clear that despite what the universe says, you don’t want me as a soulmate. So you don’t get to comment on my personal life. We don’t have that kind of relationship.” Tobio said, surprising himself and both of his companions.

“No need to get defensive.” Oikawa hummed, leaning back in his chair. “I was just making an observation.”

The oppressive silence returned.

Oikawa’s phone chirped, causing all three of them to flinch.

“It’s my sister.” He mumbled to Iwaizumi, standing up and making his way outside to answer the call.

“So… You haven’t been answering my messages.” Iwaizumi said, quite bluntly.

“I didn’t want to.” Tobio lied right back.

“Bullshit.” Iwaizumi quipped, raising his eyebrows.

“Yeah.” Tobio agreed easily.

“You know, he won’t be upset if we hang out. He talks a lot of shit but… I don’t actually think he hates you.” The spiker said, glancing at Oikawa’s silhouette outside the arcade window.

“I’m not ready for that yet.” The setter admitted easily. He figured that Iwaizumi could always tell when he was lying, so what was the point even in trying?

“What about just me. No Oikawa. We can grab coffee, or do a study date at the library. No obligations. Just us hanging out.” He offered, tentatively optimistic.

“No Oikawa?”

“No Oikawa.”

Tobio hesitated for the briefest of moments.

“Okay. Yeah. Coffee. I don’t actually drink coffee. Or study. But I mean we can do those things. Or other things, if you want.” Tobio rambled, nervous excitement creeping into his tone. Iwaizumi laughed fondly.

“I’ll text you later?” He asked, Tobio nodded, despite knowing it was more than likely a rhetorical question.

“Can you please tell Oikawa-san that he can write on himself again? It feels all…  _ weird  _ and  _ empty  _ without both of you writing.” Tobio admitted, rubbing his arms.

Iwaizumi opened his mouth to respond but was quickly interrupted.

“Aw, Tobio-chan! I knew you missed me.” Oikawa’s obnoxious interruption shattered their hast peace, and Iwaizumi growled in frustration.

“C’mon, Shittykawa. We’re leaving.” He stood, grabbing Oikawa by the arm. “Have a good evening, Kageyama.” He smiled, before pulling Oikawa away and scolding him, loud enough that Kageyama could hear him until the two disappeared outside the arcade window.

“Wow. They seem like a lot.” Miwa’s voice startled Tobio from his thoughts, causing him to jump.

“How long have you been hovering like a creep?” He grumbled, standing up and glaring at his sister.

“Since Oikawa walked out on the phone. I was going to come over and rescue you but Iwaizumi didn’t seem to be much of a threat.” She said, pulling him along to the glass case full of prizes before he could even register what she had said. “Do you think we can afford a stuffed toy?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love all of your comments but please, if you're going to just say something like "Update soon" or "when is the next update" then don't comment. Or at least put some actual comments on the work in there. It's really discouraging and prevents me from getting actual feedback about what you liked or didn't like!


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